Parenting Unruly Teens

This summer has been a challenge. After the disaster of my sprained ankle I had the opportunity to spend more time pondering the mysteries of life, including the mystery of teenagers. Since we have 5 of those between my husband and me, this wasn't too difficult to do. We have the lovely added bonus of having our daughter's homeless teenage friend staying with us, too.

When my children were young it was somewhat infuriating when things were tough and my mentors and friends would chuckle at my parenting challenges and warn me about what was ahead. One friend, to whom I confided, "I'm afraid to raise teenage girls," gave me the comforting comment, "You should be!" And here I am in the throes of it all.

Actually, I made the mistake, since my own youngest is a boy, of thinking recently, "Thank goodness, I am almost through with these difficult teen years. He hasn't been nearly as hard as those girls...." He has always been an easy, enjoyable child.

Why do children turn to unhealthy activities (sex, addiction, piercing, tattoos, and heaven knows what else)? What can we as parents do to prevent these from going on to our precious but defiant offspring? My son has been cut off from most of his friends and regular activities because of some poor choices. This has been most difficult on him and all of us who care about him.

I simply keep telling myself a few things, such as, "This isn't about me." "Don't take his behavior personally." "The others are enjoyable adults; he is getting there, too." "He is only growing up." And, thankfully, he is.