Forgiveness, Letting Go

A well-known religious leader has said: "He who takes offense when no offense is intended is a fool, and he who takes offense when offense is intended is a greater fool."

I have been pondering on the benefits of forgiving others, and of letting go of past hurts. I have had little bits and pieces of news about loved ones and things that have gone on between them. These have given me a chance to evaluate the real usefulness of being angry, hurt, and hanging on to the emotional baggage from things that happened a long time ago. I have lots of experience at having my feelings hurt, just like anyone.

So, let's say someone does something really mean or low to me. Suppose it's a family member, a person I will run into at family functions forever. What do I do? Do I stop visiting family because I may encounter this relative? Do I end all family relationships because someone (intentionally or unintentionally) hurt my feelings? I am not sure this is the answer to having a peaceful, fulfilling, and happy life, which is what I am after.

One of the sisters who taught me in Catholic school said, "Very few people care enough about you to really hurt your feelings." And, in all honesty, she's right. Who are the people that care about me? This (fictitious) family member who was careless with her words didn't really know what she was talking about; she didn't know the facts about what was going on with me. And the people who aren't close to me don't have a clue about me or the things that may hurt me anyway. So....

"Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself." In my experience, letting go of the hurt is being good to myself. It is a form of self-nurturing and a way of taking back my own personal power. If I stay away from activities and people that are good for me because I may have to deal with someone that's been mean to me, who wins? Not me, that's for sure. And, at this Christmas season, it's nice to be able to focus better on the richness of the season by being free of the heaviness and heartache of hard feelings held close.

So, here is my wish to all of you (my 3 dear followers and whoever else lands on this page) that you have a happy, heartwarming, and joyous holiday

I've Mislaid My Camera

Hence, no photos.

I am looking forward to Thanksgiving. We will have my 3 sons plus Justin and Chloe. A few others have been invited, though I don't know who will actually be here.

The Menu:

Turkey (whole, skin included)
Gravy
Stuffing
Mashed Potatoes
Cranberries (canned)
Fruit Salad
Green Bean Casserole
Whitney Walton's Grandma's Rolls
Pumpkin Pie
Apple Pie
Cranberry Blueberry Delight
Real Whipped Cream
Vanilla Ice Cream

Sounds yummy! I think I will make pies and rolls on Wednesday.

50 Things Project Complete!

I have conquored the 50 things. I have gotten rid of the following 50 things that weren't doing me any good. It feels good to have lightened my earthly load.

Here is my list. Though I am finished with the project, I will continue to eliminate the junk in my life.

1. Mother Goose book to Helene
2. Textbooks
3. Full sized bedskirt
4. Bag of crafting suplies I will never use
5. Small baskets
6. Skirt and Swim Suit Chloe's outgrown
7. Results of closet clean-out (more stuff)
8. Posted 4 more books on paperbackswap.com
9. Small pair reading glasses
10. Stationery
11. Leftover cards from Christmas past
12. Basketball hoop
13. Trampoline (sorry, kids)
14. All the junk on the dryer
15. 6 broken drumsticks (He said no, but right in front of him I threw them away.)
16. Broken binder
17. Earmuffs
18. Queen size sheet set to Tim
19. Useless dog toy
20. Expired shortening and mixes from the pantry
21. Two tops that are now too big
22. Three pair old eyeglasses
23. A pair of Josef Seibel fisherman sandals that have never really fit
24. Brita water filter pitcher
25. T-shirt scraps from Zach's future quilt
26. Many unmatched, useless socks
27. 2 animal food dishes
28. Non-functioning sewing machine
29. Bottles I am never going to fill w/homemade root beer
30. Outdated stuff on the bulletin board
31. Those irritating mismatched plastic containers and their lids that kept falling out of the cupboard and totally irritating my husband
32. Shoe-repair pile (okay, pair)
33. Blender repaired (hurray!) and to Cecilie
34. Favorite jeans--too big--cut up for Christmas Stockings
35. Magazines
36. Plastic bags
37. An entire bookcase!
38. Plastic cannister set
39. More books
40. Juicer that wasn't worth the $.99 I spent on it
41. Bowls
42. Binder
43. Electronic games we're done with
44. MORE books
45. Cosmetics, etc.
46. Hubby's cast-off clothes
47. Zach's calculator
48. Nursery rhyme book to Stacy
49. Dishcloths and hankies to Mom and Rachel
50. Leather Gucci backpack

The Simple Life

Disclaimer: Keep in mind this is MY philosophy, and my husband and children do not always support or agree with my crazy ways.

Michael Schut has said, “What we buy, how we eat, and our means of transportation are...votes that can move us toward or away from abundant living.” I like to think that these also propel us closer to or farther away from the simple life as well. In my adult life I have worked to create a simpler life for my family and me using this philosophy.

Now, don't get me wrong: Simple is far from easy. Simple is another way I look at the personal back-to-basics movement I enjoy finding myself in as I navigate this world and my life. I have no idea where it all began or where I developed my ideas, but I can say my family of origin (yes, including my eccentric mother) had part in it, too.

I grew up in a home where we didn't fill up every day with soccer practice, music lessons, or scouts. Mom's hands were full with our large family and there was enough for her to do without the added stress of driving us around or being a team mother. We learned to read, play, cook and bake, do all sorts of needlework and crafts, and, finally, get along with neighbors, both young and older. This was a wonderful foundation for the life I live now.

What We Buy
My personal philosophy around buying stuff is pretty simple. We buy clothes, shoes, books, and other things we use secondhand either at thrift or antique stores or online through Craigslist or Ebay, unless we make them instead. I especially like trading for things, like at paperbackswap.com, or simply giving my extra things to someone who needs them. Shopping is not a way to pass the time, and buying things is not something for which to set aside time unless there is a need. When I acquire things I try to make sure to buy reusable, such as cloths rather than paper towels, and things like that. I must say we buy new, generally, for gifts and Christmas, unless we give homemade. We have acquired skills like needlework and woodworking, and have plenty of great tools and materials to support our hobbies and habits.

How We Eat
We are working on eating locally by growing our own and saving seeds, shopping close to home at smaller, locally run establishments, and by raising our own laying hens. We live in a modest suburban neighborhood and can't keep other animals, and I am searching for a local source for fresh milk. We bought a quarter of a grass-fed local beef, and that has been wonderful. Shopping at the local farmer's markets or purchasing a share in CSA have been part or our food habits as well. I store/stockpile basic food, including whole grains, and cook mostly from scratch. Why go to the store for bread or cookies when I can bake them here? I can't say this for every member of the family, but meals and snacks are better for us and yummier when they are fresh and homemade, and don't fill our garbage can to overflowing each week with rubbish.

Our Means of Transportation

We tend to drive beaters. We own a 1990 Ford truck, a 1987 Camry wagon, and a 1979 Mercedes (diesel), which is about to be sold. The 16-year-old is fixing up a 1982 Ford Econoline. We are blessed with a 2002 Prius. Since we are the parents of many children, we have gone through many cars, too, and are able to share with them when they need us to do so. We are, however, advocates of carpooling, public transportation (we have buses and ferries in our neck of the woods), cycling, and the old standby, walking, and do these frequently.

All in all, the simpler life that we have created serves us well. I look forward to many years of acquiring more skills and fewer things. It is interesting to see and predict just how this lifestyle will come out later in our children.

Crown Replacement

No, I didn't win a beauty contest. I had a wonderful lunch of popcorn, but noticed an extremely crunchy crunch toward the end of the bowl. After finishing up I checked my back tooth (crown) in the mirror, and lo and behold, it was jaggedy and multi-hued, and a trip to the dentist was in order.

Luckily, I got in at 2:30, and spent the rest of the day there.

Now I get to deal with the aftermath.

On a different note, I am happy to report that I have made great progress on my 50 Things Project, and am almost finished. You've all heard of Spring Cleaning, I am sure, but I have been doing Autumn Cleaning with a fury. Closets that contained who-knew-what are now rather empty and clean. Cabinets, bookcases, and end tables have been exorcized of their excess baggage and burdens. It is a wonderful thing, and I think I will try it every now and then. The timing is good for me, before Christmas, when projects take up the space that my junk has taken up in the past. I highly recommend it.

I have found myself thinking about what to get rid of all the time. I have had dreams about it. I have even made strides in growing as a person while working on this little project.

One thing that has helped has been that we went over the budget and I am on something of a self-imposed spending freeze. This means I am not buying things to take the places of the objects of which I have rid myself. No (thrift store) shopping therapy for me! I have put time that I may have spent shopping to good use, though, and have begun making my way through the great unknown in my home and garage.

Have you ever had an exorcism like this? What was it like?